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Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Steve's Long-Awaited Football Preview

It's football season, and I've always wanted this kind of forum. No one ever gave it to me before, so I had to create my own. Thanks, Blogspot, for having me.

Pro.

Who knows? Steelers? Patriots? Cardinals? Vikings? Giants? Cowboys? Colts? Probably one of those.

Three NFL Predictions for 2010:
1. Tom Brady will break a fingernail and it will lead off Sportscenter.
2. Tony Romo will enter a new relationship in the vicinity of mid-December (silly if only for the reason of having to buy her a Christmas present, then turn around and come up with something for Valentine's Day) and the Cowboys will lose their last 4, including the first round of the playoffs.
3. The Detroit Lions will win 2 games.

College.

As much as I would love to see my Sooners win it all, it just seems unlikely. First, we play a very difficult schedule. And while all our games are winnable, it seems like there will be a trip-up somewhere, even if we slip by Texas. Plus, Sam Bradford could rescue an entire orphanage from a fire and still fall painfully shy of surpassing Tim Tebow and Colt McCoy in Jesus Points. It really is difficult to watch. Now, I'm all for players being strong Christians, I just hate it when they have to play for such evil empires. What's next, Rick Warren's son playing at USC?

So, who is the favorite? The only good thing about Florida returning 42 starters (seemingly) is that with all their top recruiting classes they have stacked up, it means keeping those guys off the field another year. Florida and USC are the only 2 schools who benefit from graduating players.

Oklahoma State. Since many of my readers are Oklahoma State fans, allow me to make a few prognostications for you. First of all, your season consists of three games. The rest are not only winnable, but double-digit favorite winnable. You are assured of 9 wins. But, welcome to the big time where nine wins is a letdown! This is how it feels to be unsatisfied with mediocrity. Isn't it great?

Game 1: Georgia. How to beat the mighty Bulldogs from the SEC. One, jump on them early and often. Bulldogs can smell fear. And mailmen. So don't show up with any letters in your satchels...or stuffed in your pads. Breaking in a new quarterback should mean that Georgia will not score early. The Pokes need to jump up 14-0 after one quarter of play, cruising to a 21-7 halftime advantage. The second half may be a little more difficult. Georgia has perhaps the top offensive line in the country. This group of fatsoes will take over in the second half if OSU cannot sustain drives. My prediction: OSU does jump ahead and holds on for a 31-23 win. Cowboy fans drive home happy with the game and completely distraught over that intro song that country music poser wrote. Even Toby Keith would be embarrassed.

Game 2: Texas. Vince Young was in 5th grade the last time OSU beat Texas. But shorten the game to 30 minutes and OSU owns the Horns. So that's the key to this one. Figure out a way to cancel the second half. I am sure with a little creativity and a lot of Boone Pickens' money, this could happen. Whether he buys a thunderstorm, Gallagher-Iba tips over, Al Brown streaks across the field, or some cows get loose on the field, I don't know. But I know this: at the half, OSU 27, Texas 10.

Game 3: Oklahoma. Well how can I possibly be objective on this one? Oklahoma is unbeatable at home, only losing twice in Bob Stoops' career. Once to TCU and once to ... uh oh. Could it be? Could OSU pull off the unthinkable again? Um, no. This is Sam Bradford, not Nate Hybl. But it also won't be the blowout the past 3 games in Norman have been. Bedlam will also be shockingly low-scoring this year. Final will be in the neighborhood of 24-14, much like the 1984 showdown in Norman, which I attended as a 10 year old. And yes, Zac Robinson is no Rusty Hilger.

As for the Sooners, I predict a nice opening win over the Mormons. We'll call it 37-14.

Next blog: I promise a Francesca update. And, Breck, I'm working on your request.

3 comments:

Douglas Family said...

What?

Breck said...

I'm so, so offended by the photo you included in your OSU predictions...the one with you and an FFA buddy from high school. There's a time and place, my friend...

Scott said...

you got the 14 correct anyway.